Poems

Throw away lives

An infant is born to loving parents

Sharing their devotion with deep felt emotion

Love blossoms each day, an evolution

Child Grows, develops, ever stronger, a parent’s devotion

Discovering themselves, finding, exploring, feeling secure

Knowing new things, new taste, new love, measure

An explosion, a deafening silence, life shattered

Those that were two are barely the one

Love has gone missing, has run from the passage

Love is displaced, moved away, too busy, no reason

In a young mind, confusion, despair, blame, delusion

No more attention, a small voice screams

“Remember me, I’m not an illusion”

One becomes two, becomes three, becomes lost

Childhood slips by, a person discarded

Moved away, seeking what was, seeking the grey

No more the two, the three or four but many, walls, windows and doors

Love is a tool, a currency, childhood gone, survival lives

Love is a thing, not a life, not a need

Love comes back, but what is its value?

Is it an investment, a commodity?

How long will it stay, a short term gain, a quick fix in life

Child is a man, man has child, has love, love lost

Long ago love was eternal, love had no price

Love has no value, woman, child have no worth

Things, short term, gain, loss, all the same

Throw away lives


 

Is That It?

In the morning, waking to the new day, the sun, the cool breeze, the birds, is that it?

Music that makes our spirit soar, the book that makes our eyes swell with tears, is that it?

Comforting a child when they are in pain, wishing for that pain to be mine, is that it?

That rush of feeling when our hand is touched, our cheek softly stroked, is that it?

You look nice, have you done your hair different? Is that it?

Happy birthday, I just thought I’d call, didn’t want to miss the day, is that it?

Dad, I drew this picture for you, it’s not very good, I hope you like it, is that it?

Why did he leave me, 30 years together, why now? You don’t need to see your mum crying, sorry. Is that it?

It’s not right, our children shouldn’t go first, it’s not right. Is that it?

Yes, yes it all is, love is all around us in the happy and the sad, is that it? Yes, that’s love.


 

The Lover I will Never have

I wish I had the words to explain the contents of my head

I wish I knew how to write it down the images I see in my bed

How can my mind share thoughts so clearly

Of someone I love so totally dearly

Yet, I wish I had the words to explain the contents of my head.

You sit there smiling, loving me always

But, you’re not really there, it’s just my brainwaves

Why can’t I move you to somewhere away from me

Away from my mind outside of the inner me

I wish I knew how to explain the contents of my head

Every night you lay there beside me

A shadow of someone that lives deep inside of me

You live in my mind, my heart, my soul

Come out of the shadows, make me whole

Loving you is all I can do

I wish I had the words to explain the contents of my head


 

Young Forever

I am going to be young forever

See the beauty in a flower

Live in the never ending moment of a moonlit beach

Value each breath as a gift

My body may grow frail

My skin wrinkled, my hair grey

Look into my eyes, see my inner being

I am going to be young forever


 

What makes you think I love you?

What makes you think I love you?

OK, so I call you each day, I like to keep a check on my friends

When you were out late the other day I looked for you, so?

Your name appears in everything I write, it doesn’t mean a thing!

When guys come on to me, I sit next to you, just coincidence.

What makes you think I love you? 

So, I hugged you and kissed you in public, it was a mistake

Hell, lots of guys have met my parents

I always wave like that when I meet people, it’s not just you

Oh, c’mon, loads of guys think like me, I am not in tune with you

What makes you think I love you?

So, we have great sex, it’s only sex

I am so not jealous of you seeing other guys

I just think your bed is more comfortable than the spare bed.

I talk about all my friends endlessly, it’s not just you

What makes you think I love you?

OK, maybe I do, but just a little bit

No, I am not crying, I have something in my eye

But I don?t want a relationship

What makes you think I love you?


 

Fancy A Coffee?

Fancy a coffee, my treat?

Yes, I fancy a coffee

For the life that you led me to, I fancy a coffee

For the confidence you found in me, I fancy a coffee

For the fun times doing things I would never have done, I fancy a coffee

For your tenderness, I fancy a coffee

For your love, I fancy a coffee

For you, I fancy a coffee, my treat.


 

Time

Friendship is about time
Not forgetting to call
Not making excuses
Not taking but giving

Friendship is about time
About forgiveness
About Love
About laughter

Friendship is about time
Wonderful ‘us’ time
Amazing ‘we’ time
You and Me time


The Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, well, afternoon really

We’re all for big hugs, we’re all touchy feely

Presents beneath our black Christmas tree they sit

I hope they’re all good but probably shit

 

We’ve shopped ’til we’ve dropped, go Comets, go Dixons

Homebase and Halfords, the lights we did fix ’em

Flashing and Throbbing, watched Batman and Robin

Ate some minced pies, some sausage and fries

 

Roll on tomorrow, it’s mad but we love it

Cooking the dinner, the turkey we stuff it

Open the prezzies we are so full of glee

Something for you and much more for me

 

So get thee to bed, be still, rest your head

put down that book, your clothing do shed

Dream pleasant dreams of Christmas’s past

Close your eyes now my love, it’s Christmas at last


 

The Gay Insight to Life

Gran Canaria Vision

In days of old when nights were cold and long johns were in fashion

Disgruntled poofs, themselves up took

And to the sun they flew

Anal and oral and rimming and wanking

Fucking and fisting, felching and bareback

They didn’t have a clue

On their return, the clap they had, some say was richly deserved

No lessons learned, no warnings headed

To the sun, the sea and sex they returned.

 

The lazy nights, the long hot days the itching they ignored

Again each evening their butts were heaving

In and out, yet another, suck then off, fuck his brother

Boyfriends, girlfriends, left at home

To all the world they were alone.

But always looking, always hunting

My God he’s cute but look at him

I’ll have him next, stuff the condom, he must be safe, who gives a shit

Back at home they hear the news, I’m sorry sir, it isn’t good

 

It’s long gone now that time of freedom

Now it is tablets, cream, doctors’ nurses.

Any regrets, one or two, that guy they missed, the one the few

Their friends are visiting, those that are left

It’s lonely now, not long, no time, no future

Back then, the life, the shags, the boys, the …

So long ago, a life in nappies, no more callers, no sex, it’s over

Should it have been different, should precautions been taken?

Fuck it, it was fun, goodnight and goodbye.


The boy sat cradling his new born son!

 

“Daddy loves you so much; I will spend every day of my life looking out for you, protecting you, teaching you. You are my son, my awesome creation, I can think of nothing more perfect in this world”

Time passed, one week, no more and the telephone rang!

“I can’t make it today, I am really busy, I don’t feel well, my new girlfriend needs me to sort something out, anyway, I will be there tomorrow, I promise”

A few more weeks, months and the father says:

“Mate I can’t pay you now but I just need a couple of ounces; you know I’m good for it”

Christmas approaches!

“I can’t wait to see my little boy at Christmas, it’ll be amazing”

A week before Christmas!

“Yeah, well, anyway, I am going to my mums for Christmas! I know I should have paid something for my son all these months but I got expenses, I got him a Christmas present”

The New Year, new commitment:

“I am clean, I don’t do that any more! I need to spend time with him, I love him so much”

The boy of this boy is now 5 months old:

“Daddy loves his little boy so much, I am so sorry for being a bum and deserting you, I won’t ever leave again, and you are my world, better than any drug, I don’t have your Christmas present”

One week later!

“Yeah, sorry, I overslept, I don’t have any money, I only get ?50 a week, ?25 went on food for me, ?10 went on fags, I got none left for him”

The following day!.

Nothing – there is silence, no explanation, no excuses, no daddy.

Is human life so throw away?

14 Months … boy of boy has a good daddy, he was there the moment he was born, he has been there every day since … he’s not the boy

The boy shall never be the man until the boy understands he has a boy and understands what that means … he doesn’t matter any more, the boy is everything, Dad’s are not boys.